The Phat News of Mark
The Hippie Bible
By 2 Hawks
All Rights Reserved
1. Immediately, in the morning, the focalizers held a council
with the Hi-Ho's and the shamen; and they duct-taped Jesus, led
Him away, and delivered Him to the L.E.O.'s.
2. Pilate (1) asked Him, "Are You
the King of the Jews? And He answered and said to him, "It
is as you say (2)."
3. And the focalizers accused Him of many things, but He answered
4. Then Pilate asked Him again, saying, "Do You answer nothing?
See how many things they testify against You!"
5. But Jesus still answered nothing, so that Pilate marveled.
6. Now at the National Gathering he was accustomed to releasing
one prisoner to them, whomever they requested.
7. And there was one named Son of the Father (4),
who was cuffed with his fellow anarchists; they had committed
murder in a rebellion.
8. Then the multitude, crying aloud, began to ask him to do just
as he had always done for them.
9. But Pilate answered them, saying, "Do you want me to release
to you the King of the Jews?"
10. For he knew that the Hi-Ho's had handed Him over because of envy.
11. But the Hi-Ho's stirred up the crowd, so that he should rather
release Son of the Father to them.
12. And Pilate answered and said to them again, "What then
do you want me to do with Him whom you call the King of the Jews?"
13. So they cried out again "Crucify (5)
14. Then Pilate said to them, "Why, what evil has He done
(6)?" And they cried out more exceedingly,
15. So Pilate, wanting to bliss the crowd, released Son of the
Father to them; and he delivered Jesus to be crucified, after
he had whipped (7) Him.
16. Then 6-up led Him to the County Court House, and they called
together all the LEOs.
17. And they clothed Him with a purple hoodie; and they twisted
a crown of thorns, pressed it on His head,
18. and began to mock Him, "Hail, King of the Jews!"
19. Then they struck Him on the head with a reed and spit on Him;
and bowing the knee they worshipped Him.
20. And when they had mocked Him, they took the purple hoodie
off Him, put His own clothes on Him, and led Him out to crucify
21. Now they forced Simon, a black man from Cyrene (8),
the father of Alex and Rufus, as he was coming out of the country
and passing by, to bear His cross.
22. And they brought Him to Skull Hill.
23. Then they gave Him opium-wine to drink, but He did not take
24. And when they crucified Him, they divided His garments (10), casting lots for them to determine
what every man should take.
25. Now it was the third hour (11), and
they crucified Him.
26. And His indictment read: "King of the Jews."
27. With Him they also crucified two felons (12),
one on His right and the other on His left.
28. So the scripture was fulfilled which says, "And He was
numbered with the transgressors."
29. And those who passed by dissed Him, wagging their heads and
saying, 'Aha! Aha! (13) You who would
destroy the temple and build it in three days,
30. "save yourself, and come down from the cross!"
31. Likewise the Hi-Ho's also, together with the focalizers, dissed
Him and said, "He saved others; Himself He cannot save."
32. "Let the Christ, the King of Israel, descend now from
the cross, that we may see and believe." And those who were
crucified with Him schwagged Him.
33. Now at noon there was a blanket of deep darkness over the
whole land until 3 PM.
34. At 3 PM Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying
"Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?" which is translated,
"Daddy, Daddy, why have you bailed
35. Some of those who stood by, when they heard it, said, "Look,
He is calling for Eliyah!'
36. Then someone ran and filled a sponge full of vinegar, put
it on a bamboo pole, and offered it to Him to drink saying, "Leave
Him alone; let us see if Eliyah will come to take Him down."
37. And Jesus cried out His last breath (15).
38. Then the sacred curtain in the Holy of Holies was ripped down
the center (16).
39. Now when the L.E.O. who stood opposite Him, saw that He cried
out like this and breathed His last, he said, "Truly this
Man was the Son of God!"
40. There were also women looking on from afar, among whom were
Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of Jimmy, and Salome,
41. who also followed Him and ministered to Him when He was in
Galilee; and many other women who came up with Him to Jerusalem.
42. Now when evening had come, because it was the Preparation
Day (17), that is the day before Sabbath.
43. Joseph of Twin Peaks (18), a prominent
council member, who was himself waiting for the kingdom of God,
coming and taking courage, went in to Pilate and asked for the
body of Jesus.
44. Pilate marveled that He was already dead; and summoning the
centurion (19), he asked him if He had
been dead for some tine.
45. And when he found out from the centurion, he granted the body
46. Then he brought fine linen, took Him down, and wrapped Him
in the linen. And he laid Him in a tomb which had been carved
out of the rock, and rolled a stone against the door of the tomb.
47. And Mary Magdalene and Mary the mother of Jose observed where
He was laid.
Family Heart Fire: Thank you Mikie!
Ocala National Forest
When drawing close
To Him in worship
Love God with your whole being!
Love your fellow man as yourself!
Forgive one another
Footnotes & Commentary
More Hippie Gatherings:
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Federal Agents Kick Out Church
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Year's Eve 2002
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