The Phat News of Mark
The Hippie Bible
By 2 Hawks
All Rights Reserved
1. Then the Hi-Ho's and some of the shamen
came together to Him, having come from Jerusalem.
2. Now when they saw some of His disciples eat bread without washing
their hands, they began to schwag them.
3. For the Hi-Ho's and all the hippies do not eat unless they
wash their hands in a special way, holding the tradition of the
4. When they come from the trade circle, they do not eat unless
they wash. And there are many other things which they have received
and hold, like washing of blissware, cups, pitchers, copper vessels,
and vegan pots.
5. Then the Hi-Ho's and shamen asked Him, "Why do Your disciples
not walk according to the tradition of the Family, but eat bread
with unwashed hands?
6. He answered them and said to them, "Well did Izzy prophesy of you hypocrites, as
it is written:
a. 'This people honors Me with their lips,
b. But their hearts are far away from Me,
7. "And in vain they worship Me. Teaching as holy law the
ways of men.' (1)
8. "You hold the opinion of men, like the washing of blissware
and cups, and many other such things you do, while you lay aside
the will of God."
9. And He said to them,
"All too well you
reject the will of God (2), that you may keep your Family tradition.
10. "For Moses said, 'Honor your father and your mother;'
and, 'He who curses father or mother, let him be put to death.'
11. "But you say, 'If a man says to his father or mother,
'Whatever change you might have received from me is going to the
12. "and he is therefore no longer responsible to care for
his father or mother,
13. "making the word of God of no effect through your Family
traditions. And many such things you do to avoid true respect
14. And when He had called all the gathering to Him, He said to
them, 'Focus, everyone,
15. "There is nothing
that enters a man from outside which can pollute him; but the
things which come out of him, those are the things that pollute
16. "Read My lips!"
17. And He entered a lodge away from the gathering, His disciples
asked Him about the riddle.
18. So He said to them, "You
didn't get it? Don't you get the fact that whatever enters a man
from outside cannot pollute him,
19. "because it does not enter into his heart but his stomach,
and is eliminated, thus purifying all foods?"
20. And He said, "What
comes out of a man, that pollutes him.
21. "For from within, out of the heart of men, comes evil
plots: rage, violence, rape, murder, thieving, envy, wickedness,
lying, lewd conduct, an evil eye, dissing, pride, and foolishness.
22. "All these evil activities come from within and they
are what pollute a man."
23. And from there He arose and went to the campground of the
Rocks and Fish. And He entered a lodge and wanted no one to know
it, but He could not be hidden.
24. For a women whose young daughter had a demon heard about Him,
and she came and fell at His feet.
25. The women was Greek, Syrian by citizenship, and she kept asking
Him to cast the demon out of her daughter (3).
26. But Jesus said to her, "Let
the children be filled first, for it is not good to take the children's
bread and throw it to the dogs."
27. And she answered and said to Him, "Yes, Lord, yet even
the puppies under the table eat from the children's crumbs."
28. Then He said to her, "For
this saying go your way; the demon has gone out of your daughter."
29. And when she had come to her lodge, she found the demon gone
out, and her daughter lying on the bed set free.
30. And again, departing from the campground of Rocks and Fish,
He came through the middle of the camp area of the Ten Cities
to the Lake of Galilee.
31. Then they brought Him one who was deaf and stuttered, and
they begged Him to put His hand on him.
32. And He took him aside from the gathering, and put His fingers
in his ear, and He spit and touched his tongue with the spit.
33. Then, looking up to heaven, He sighed, and said to him, "Open up."
34. Immediately his ears were opened, and the stutter was gone
and he spoke freely.
35. Then He commanded them that they should tell no one; but the
more He asked them, the more widely they proclaimed it.
36. And they were astonished beyond measure, saying, "He
has done all things well. He makes both the deaf to hear and the
mute to speak."
Harvest, Teddy, Coop, Brian, Ray,
When drawing close
To Him in worship
Love God with your whole being!
Love your fellow man as yourself!
Forgive one another
Footnotes & Commentary
More Hippie Gatherings:
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Federal Agents Kick Out Church
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Year's Eve 2002
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